A new book has just come out on the crimes and misdemeanors of mothers.
I am so relieved to know that I am not alone.
The kids cycled downtown by themselves a few months ago. They returned, panting and out of breath. That afternoon, they complained of stomach aches and both were on the pot for most of the afternoon.
What did you eat, I asked?
Kids: Um. Er.
Me: You didn't buy candy, did you?
Kids: Well, CVS had Junior Mints on sale. Two bags for the price of one!
Me: You know you're not supposed to do that. You didn't eat them all, did you?
Silence. Kids look down at their toes.
I retrieve the empty crumpled up bags out of a backpack. Turns out my little sweethearts bought very special candy. Two bags of laxatives for the price of one.
I have been chuckling for months.
Does this make me a bad mother?